The Story of the Girl Who Only Ate Low Calorie Soup

Lizzie was a chubby lass,
Fat ruddy cheeks upon her ass.
A plump and hearty lady she;
Happy, bouncing large and free.
She ate and drank as she was told
And never let her lunch go cold.
But on one cold autumnal day,
She cried out, 'take that Coke away.
And take that nasty take-away.
I only want a scrumptious bowl of low calorie, 100% organic, fat-reducing, bean,
cabbage and lentil soup today!'


In every mag upon the shelf
Projections of the perfect self.
Women; elfin small and thin
Waif-like creatures, light and trim.
The magazines all seemed to frown
'You'd better get your weight right down!'
'Fat reducing soup's the thing,
To help to make you nice and thin,'
So put those nasty chocs away,
And all those horrid curds and whey,
I only want a scrumptious bowl of low calorie, 100% organic, fat reducing, bean,
cabbage and lentil soup today!'


Every day just murky broth,
Enough to make her trousers cough!
The weight fell off as she surmises,
All her clothes are smaller sizes;
Six months later, what a folly,
Lizie's lighter than a dolly!
But what's this? Her stomach's rumbling,
Sounds as if her guts are grumbling!
Still it's 'take those crisps away,
And that fun-size Milky Way;
I only want a scrumptious bowl of low calorie, 100% organic, fat reducing, bean,
cabbage and lentil soup today.'

Continued: Part 2