Your Consumer Problems Solved by Folklore's 'Green Man'

Old Man: Excuse me Green Man, I'm 89 years old, I live alone and I've been without a gas supply for over a year because of a faulty gas fire about which British Gas would not do anything. Charged me £186 for repairing it but the fire was not repaired and all I get now from British Gas is calls offering me cheap electricity. Can you help?
Green Man: You need to write to British Gas and tell them what you think of them! OOoh! It makes my blood boil!

Waiter: Excuse me Green Man, I am working pizza restaurant and I set alight my trousers while I'm making pizza. The boss he say I silly, I think he should buy a new trousers for me. Can you help me?
Green Man: You need to confront this man and set alight to his trousers instead. OOooh! It makes me sick to the stomach!

Banker: Hello Green Man. I'm the head of a large high street bank, and I'm afraid I've lost all of my customers' money. I'm down to my last couple of billion now. I wonder, could you lend me a couple of quid? Oh pretty please!
Green Man: OOH! You're making me VERY angry!