The Story of Cruel Brian

Here is nasty Brian, see;
A cruel and wicked boy is he.
At school he rips the wings off flies,
And lots of naughty things besides.
He clubbed me with his cricket bat,
And in my mashed potatoes, spat.

Brian is a bully, yes,
A charge to which he won't confess.
I saw him look up Frida's skirt,
And fill poor Grayson's desk with dirt!
I saw him poke his tongue at me,
And in the sandpit, did a wee!

Brian is a bully, phew!
There's nothing anyone can do!
He crow-pecked Simpson on the noggin,
And kicked a poor, defenceless frog in!
I saw him fill the sink with glue,
And on my doorstep, did a poo!

But I am just his teacher, see,
And scared of what he'd do to me,
For if I tried to make him stop
He'd have me down the copper shop!
And soon I would be in the courtie,
'Oh Brian, must you be so naughty?'